Obama: Join the Chosen Tribe

I have a solution to all this speculation about Obama's religion. It's simple, nearly immune from political attack and would be a nice respite from the stupid, useless, waste-of-my-oxygen debate about whether or not Obama is a Christian.

First, a short recap. Obama has taken his time choosing a church. While this might seem like an entirely symbolic gesture, it seems to have injected doubt about his religion into Lexicon of Conservative Bulls%$t (publishing pending). With the addition of the TEA party and the anti-tax rallies, the idea that Obama may be a Muslim (and not born here) was formed and carried, along with Obama-as-a-Socialist and Obama-as-Fascist...and...Obama-as-Hitler (I really don't understand the connection - I think you would be hard pressed to find a Muslim-Socialist-Fascist-Nazi).

Now, the Muslim cultural center (Park51, Cordoba House, etc) has sparked an interest in Obama's religion, once again. Apparently, almost 20% of those polled in a recent survey believe that Obama is a Muslim. And, that same anti-Muslim sentiment has surfaced, like it did in the aftermath of Sept. 11th. Somehow, a good amount of people (mostly feeling that pain of "white guilt") feel that once an Islamic presence is legitimized in their neighborhood, the local law will be replaced with Sharia. Oh no! Not law motivated by religious doctrine! That would NEVER happen in the United States.....(ahem).

My favorite crying patriot Glenn Beck has even jumped on the bandwagon. Beck's "Restoring Honor" rally at the nation's capital was not only "non-political" (you know, you're sooooo NOT political if you have Sarah Palin as a speaker) but a way to get the country "back to God" (God in uppercase letters because it is specifically referring to the "Glenn Beck God Model" possibly version 2.0). Beck somehow believes that his very Christian god is a more legitimate version of Obama's Christian god. Somehow, in the midst of crying, blackboard ranting and spouting revisionist history, Beck forgot that his god is no different than the god of Islam, Judaism and every sect of Christianity (god knows how many there are...no pun intended). Furthermore, (while not trying to offend any hardcore philosophy majors), the idea of god is a never-ending debate, and ones personal god (think 12-step program, etc) might embody something much different than a religious god.

Here is my idea for Obama (drum roll):

Join a Synagogue!

Become part of the Chosen Tribe. The Jewish community is a tight-knit group that transcends religion. It is not only a religion, but a culture and tradition that provides support for all its members. And, technically, you will be praying to the original god, the real OG.

Here's a good reference list:
http://www.sixthandi.org/
http://www.ostns.org/
http://www.templemicah.org/